Are you one of these business women?

You hold down a full time job as an woman executive who competes with men who have stay at home wives. You also get everyone up at home, get their meal, drop off at school, work all day, organize the family calendar, get the dinner, help with homework, attend sports, dance or drama activities and collapse for some time on your own at the end of 17 hours of non-stop activity?

Millions of women around the world are living this life and the fallout has begun.

The fact is that women are tired of doing it all and being it all.

According to the Harvard Business Review one of the biggest problems that corporate America faces today is flight of top executive women. Women are leaving the corporate life by the thousands and corporate managers don't really know what to do about it.

But do they really want to leave?

The problem is we're still living life under our parents definition of motherhood. Men aren't trained to deal with it because it was assumed they were suppose to work to support the family. So they focus more on their job and less on the details of managing a family. And though many business women who are moms work in demanding jobs, many feel guilty if they don't do all their mothers did.

The result is they experience high fatigue, frustration and low self-esteem as they find it impossible to get it all done. They are wearing themselves out and the interesting thing to note is that younger women who have watched baby boomer mothers try to have it all seem to be considering full time motherhood as a better option.

But what about all that it took for us to get to the top? I for one had a mother who supported the ERA Equal Rights Amendment so that her daughter could have opportunities unavailable to her generation of women. It took a mighty effort and many women to plow the path for today's women in business. Are we really willing to give it all up?

Another issue is that as families have learned to depend on two incomes, going with full time motherhood means giving up the salary.

In the "Study: US Mothers Deserve $ 134, 121 in Salary", the author talks about what salary a mother in the US might earn if she was paid for all the jobs she does.

According to the author, if paid for the tasks she does as a full time, stay at home mother she would earn $134,121. That would be similar pay to what a US corporate executive, director of marketing or judge might make.

The problem is, there isn't anybody to pay that salary except her husband.

So what's a business woman, wife and mother to do?

The only choice is

a. Give up doing all for the family. Hire help if you need it or assign tasks to each family member and get out of the way. Women do themselves in when they criticize how others do the work because it causes inner turmoil for everyone.

b. Quit working and learn to live off less, much less.

c. Discuss part time and flextime options with the employer.

You might be thinking "but they'll never accept it because I'm a manager." The real answer to that is that we're just not use to thinking it can be done.

The truth is, if it's what you really want then you can do it. I did it...twice.

The first time I was a financial consultant with a full array of clients. Yes, the managers tried to tell me I couldn't do it. Yes, I found a way. I took on a partner and we presented our idea back to management. They didn't like it but we'd solved all the problems so they had no choice but to let us try.

Once the company was adjusted to the fact that I left early Monday and Friday and I was off all day Wednesday, it was amazing how they managed to get along. Even more amazing was the increase in productivity. Our business grew substantially despite my decreased hours.

The second time was a different company and different management role, but I went into it with my credentials and asked them to take a chance. The company doubled in four years. As I brought them more business I was able to ask for more help so that I could retain my part time status.

Win/win? I think it was.

It's time to adjust how we feel about women in business and create alternatives so that corporations keep their talented executive women and women keep their sanity.

Start with yourself by deciding exactly what you want, then go ask for it.