Hot dating tip #2: Be yourself. Some dating gurus recommend putting on some kind of an act when meeting a woman - like be cocky and funny. Sure, you can learn to act cocky and funny for five or ten minutes, but if that's not a natural part of your personality, it's going to be hard keeping it going. If possible, be funny and real. But be real. Of course, that doesn't mean you don't need to work on yourself. Time spent developing a more attractive personality is never wasted! One of the most powerful approaches to learning new skills - and that's what we're talking about here - is a process called 'modelling'. Nothing to do with catwalks or catalogs. I mean modelling as in 'find someone who is really good at what you want to learn and copy them'. If you know someone who is really good at picking up women, hang out with them and watch carefully. Ask them questions about what they think about just before talking to a woman. Watch how they stand, sit and move when around women. Especially watch how women respond, and how they respond back. The most important thing about modelling is this: the most important stuff is the hardest to spot. In fact, it is usually invisible. It's the 'inner game'. If you were able to spend time with a tennis champion and learned to copy all their moves, you would probably - after a great deal of practice - become a competent tennis player. But if that's all you copied, you would most likely never be more than just competent. The champion has something else - something even they may not be able to fully describe - they have what we could call an 'attitude', or a state of mind, that makes the difference between being competent and being a champion. The same goes for dating. The guy who is 'naturally' good at picking up women probably doesn't know exactly how he does it. You may have to ask him to describe what goes on in his mind before he talks to a woman for the first time - and he may have to think about it before he can give you a satisfactory answer - because he may never have thought about it before. You might like to ask questions like: "What do you say to yourself, just before you approach a woman for the first time?"
"What kind of pictures do you make in your head?
"How do you stand, walk and move around attractive women?"
"How do you feel just before you start talking, and how does that change during the conversation?"
"What specifically do you pay attention to when listening to a woman?" If you ask these questions in such a way as to get good quality responses, you will learn more about how your subject gets to be successful than simply by copying his physiology. There's a lot to this modelling business, so never underestimate its potential for helping you become a real champion with women. If you want to have the self-confidence to approach any woman you choose and the self-esteem to brush off the occasional rejection without a second thought. |
