Do you know the most effective way to get a date? Would you like to know how your family and friends can help you find a lasting love and relationship? You can teach them how to become your scouts...and network for you.

American Demographics did an online poll a few years ago of 1500 people. They asked them how they met their current love. Sixty-five percent said they met through family and friends.

To successfully turn your friends into friendly scouts, follow the steps below:

*Make a list of the people you know.

Put everyone on the list, even though you may not ask them to scout for you. In the process of making this list, you may remember who you forgot. List everyone.

*Arrange to meet with 10 of the people individually.

Take them to coffee or lunch. (Yes, you are going to be very busy...but it's worth it.) Tell them what you want. Tell them that you are ready to meet someone and you wonder if they know anyone suitable: someone who is kind, interesting, and successful at what they do. Do not get specific about qualities that are not important. (Hair color, eye color, and height are irrelevant compared to someone's humor, success, and compassion.) Stay open-minded about age, weight, and educational background also.

*You must ask people to fix you up because unless you ask...they won't.

You must ASK people to help you scout. The first thing they will probably say is, I dont know anyone. Don't let that put you off. Sit and chat with them about if their mother/father husband/wife or brother/sister know anyone at work or wherever they go during their week to get involved in other activities. This may get them thinking.

*Check back with your 10 people in 4 to 6 weeks.

They get busy with their own lives and tend to forget what you asked them. Not all of them will help, but eventually, someone will.

*Find 10 more people on your list and repeat the process.

After you have networked with 10 people, see if you can find more. You need all the help you can get. You don't have to take everyone to lunch. If you meet someone casually at a party, or during a meeting, or anywhere, tell them you would love to meet someone to date. Don't be cynical and do not think this is beneath you. Be upbeat and appreciative. If you act with dignity, you will be treated with dignity. I once had a client who told a real estate agent who did know someone who had just moved to the community and she introduced them. It was a match.

*Thank everyone who finds you a date, even if it doesnt turn out well.

Send them a card or flowers to let them know how much you appreciated what they did for you. Ask them to keep bringing you other people in the future if they can.

*The right attitude brings success.

You cannot let yourself get discouraged while you are in this process. Most people will not find anyone, but someone will. It takes work, but so does anything in life that is worthwhile.

Turn your friends into your friendly scouts and let them find the love of your life. Someone is waiting for you. You just have to do the work to find them.

Tonja Weimer

Tonja Evetts Weimer is a Master Certified singles relationship and life coach, speaker, syndicated columnist and author.

Tonja is a full time professional coach with a practice in Greenville, SC. She helps individuals, especially singles, re-craft their lives and find happiness and success in their career and relationships. Some of Tonja's professional activities include:

==> Syndicated singles relationship columnist, writing SAVVY DATING, a weekly column read by over a million readers in many U.S newspapers. Tonja's column addresses relationship and life issues of interest to all adults, but particularly to the over 110 million singles in the U.S. Tonja has also had articles published in New Woman, Hope, and House Beautiful magazines, and has won 3 Matrix Awards for her writing.

==> Motivational speaker, Tonja has been a keynote presenter at national and international conferences over the last 30 years.

==> Author of materials for educators and parents (7 books, six music albums and 2 videos), which have won 22 awards.

Some Speaking and Media Highlights:

==> Keynote speaker for 2004 Women?s Issues Network Conference, Sumter, SC.

==> Keynote speaker for 2002 Parents as Teachers International Conference, St. Louis, MO.

==> Keynote speaker for 1999 International Conference for Children & Adults with Attention Deficit Disorder.

==> Keynote speaker for 1998 European Education Conference, in Mannheim, Germany.

==> Keynote speaker in 35 U.S. states at educational conferences.

==> Presenter at the International Special Olympics in Notre Dame, at the request of Eunice Kennedy Shriver.

==> Created Space Songs for Children, at the request of NASA (album taken into space by astronauts three times.)

==> Appeared on CNN?s Showbiz Today and many other TV shows.

Educational and Professional Qualifications:

==> National Fellow (U.S. Dept. of Education.) M.A. in Human Development and Education, with an emphasis on creativity.

==> Master Certified Singles Relationship Coach, Relationship Coaching Institute.

==> Personal Life Coach, Graduate, Institute for Life Coach Training.

==> Member, International Coaching Federation