All grooms go through it: the anxiety, the fear, the waves of nausea as you think, "Do I really, really know what I'm getting into?" Getting cold feet doesn't necessarily mean you're not 100% in love with your bride-to-be. It's a normal response to the realization that you're about to go through a major life change. Some men worry that they won't be able to support a family; others look at the responsibilities ahead and wonder if that means they'll never be able to hang out with the gang. But most of them say, after the wedding and even well into their marriage, "It's not as bad as you imagine it to be." Those responsibilities? You share them. That's what being a couple is about. And you'll still be able to see your friends. You're getting married, not getting locked in a prison. The most important thing you need to do is to put things into perspective. Talk about your fears with your fiance, if you have to, but a lot of it is about affirming how much you love your fiance, and why you proposed to her in the first place. Maybe it's time you scheduled some "couple time" together - a romantic getaway. You'll be able to emotionally reconnect again (you may have been distracted by the many details of planning a wedding). It will also let you de-stress. Those panic attacks you get in the middle of the night have also been triggered by the demands of negotiating with suppliers, fleshing out the guest list, deciding whether or not you'll get a string quartet or a soloist. Take a break from it all, and let yourself fall in love all over again. That's what the wedding is about, after all. |
