Have you ever noticed how we can be more rude to our partner than to a complete stranger?

I know I have done it, and I've watched other people treat their partner in a way they would never even dream of treating a friend or even a total stranger.

I think it starts with taking each other for granted. When we take someone for granted, we no longer begin to see them as a unique person with needs and wants ands hurt just like you and I.

This why it takes so long for children to see their parents as real people separate from the role of parent.

In a love relationship, when we begin to take someone for granted, we are no longer drifting apart, we are rushing apart.

Appreciation heals

One sure fire way to stop taking someone for granted is to appreciate them. Make a list of the things you appreciate about your partner. And then do two things with the list:

1. Keep it close to you, so yo can read it often,

2. Share the list with your partner.

After you have been together for a while, it's easy to slip into doing things you never would have done when you were dating. So don't do things like hang around in your underwear, unless of course it's sexy.

Jeff Herring

Jeff is a marriage and family therapist, singles and relationship coach, mentor coach, speaker, syndicated relationship columnist and author.

Jeff has a full time private practice in Tallahassee in which he specializes in couples, teen and parent counseling. He also is a relationship coach specializing in working with couples and singles. Some of his professional activities include:

==> Internationally syndicated relationship columnist through Knight-Ridder/Tribune Media Services, with a weekly readership of over 10 million worldwide

==> Sought after speaker for organizations, associations, churches, and corporations

==>Twice weekly appearances on The Steve and Sara Show on Magic 107.1

==> Author of "Keep the Changes: 52 Tools for Successful Living" a collection of his best columns, as well as several e-books including "How to Create a Passionate and Loving Relationship.........Forever," "How to Beat the BOZOs: Dealing with difficult people without becoming one," and "Tame Your Teen: THE survival guide for parenting your teenager.

==> Founder and CEO of TheArticleGuy.com

==> Founder and CEO of SecretsofGreatRelationships.com

==> Founder and CEO of ParentingYourTeeanger.com

==> Founder and CEO of ToolsforSuccessfulLiving.com

==> President of BuildingYourIdealPractice.com

==> President of ConsciousDatingTallahassee.com